So I spent a small portion of my crappy day yesterday narrowing down my favorite songs to just ten. They follow in no particular order of preference:

Over the Hills and Far Away-Led Zeppelin

King of Pain-The Police

Don't Dream it's Over-Crowded House

Telephone Line-Electric Light Orchestra

No Expectations-The Rolling Stones

Wish You Were Here-Pink Floyd

Baba O'Reily-The Who

Question-The Moody Blues

Wonderful Tonight-Eric Clapton

Wouldn't it be Nice-The Beach Boys

Rock over London, Rock on Chicago

Wow, this is my first update in a while. So it's about a month into second semester and here is what I've learned so far: Small town people are the best, Arnlod Schwarzenneger is the man, drinking with the friends you love can be great fun, and that things change. A year ago things wer so much more innocent. Everyday after school I would halfass my homework, maybe watch a little tv, and spend time with my favorite people. Last summer was the greatest time in my life. We just moved to a beautiful area of Chicago, I get free money for not working....It was a orgy of relaxation and hapiness. I guess I knew I wouldn't have talked to or seen my best friends as much as I usually do or would have liked to, but when spending the last precious moments of a waning summer with Brad, Bill, Dave, Badi, Mike, and Morgan...I took it for granted. I never knew that life could change so much in college. All the drama of high school, the pressure of homework, loneliness, stress, and especially emotions are amplified to a chaotic scale. Lately, everything is confusing. One moment i'll be on a complete high of joyousness, and the next minute I'll feel terribly sad, forgotten, and almost depressed....and the thing that confuses me the most is that I have no good reason to. Sure, there are a few things in my life that could stand to be better and require a little fixing, but there is nothing, and no combination of things, cohesive enough to make me feel like this. I only regularly talk to and think about one person from my high school friends, and now I'm confused if that's going to continue. High School was not my scene, but the conception and feeling that every senior has about college being the greatest moment in their life but, no matter how many of college days live up to our hopes and wishes, their will be some times of intense soul searching and severe emotions. Sometimes every feeling, jealousy, hatred, love, insecurity, doubt, fear, and concern mix themselves into one giant, sweating stew of...I don't even know what. It takes you by surprise and as soon as you think you know what your feeling, everything changes and you smile again, a smile as fleeting as the feeling beforehand. So to everyone: Thank you so far, whether I've known you for a week or 10 years, it's been great so far and, if we fade away, I hope to see you down the road, so you can bring a smile to my face. Rock over London, Rock on Chicago.

Hats: Well there are two complaints I have about hats, and both are out of fucking control! First is trucker hats. Now trucker hats are a fashion that used to be popular only for the elderly. My grandfather gave me a whole bunch of trucker hats like 10 years ago. They had foam and mesh on them and a picture of one of his classic cars and were probably like 5 cents a piece. Nowadays you go into urban outfitters and see a whole rack full of these piece of shit hats that say stuff like "nintendo" or "nyc" on them. Here's a news flash for any guy that wears a trucker hat: YOU LOOK LIKE A JACKASS AND YOU'RE A TOOL! Trucker hats are sometimes acceptable on girls, but please....this fad is out of control!

Second, the latest cool thing is wearing your hat ANY way other than straight forward or straight backward. I have noticed about 80 percent of the students at UM, and I assume this statistic is valid for the other 10 big ten campuses(the fact that there is actually 11 schools in the big ten also pisses me off), 80 percent of the students where their caps in any of the following ways: tipped upwars and to the side, completely to the side, backwards oversized and to the side, either backward or forward, or just tipped slightly off center, etc, etc. It looks SO stupid and it pisses me off for some reason. There are so many tools on this campus and they all were their hats like that and I was on my way to class tonight and I saw a guy talking to a group of people and he was acting like a total jackass and had his hat on backwards and to the side and for some reason it made me really angry...like angry as hell to be a member of a generation comprised primarily of total tools and asswads that are total phonies and, to use a more descriptive word...shiteaters.

Halo: Totally fuckin out of control...everyone plays this game and I don't understand why. I've played Halo on the computer and on XBOX and it's fun for like 30 minutes at a time, but there are people who play it for hours on end...and they don't stop. However, I have noticed no correlation between idiot hat wearers and Halo players so I have no problem with the people, just the obsession with the game.

Poker: Ever since ESPN started showing the world series of poker, everyone has been obsessed with starting texas holdem poker tournaments. I used to hang out with some of the football assholes from Prospect and they would do nothing but sit in a garage for four hours and have a huge tournament. Those nights I would end up leaving and go over to Grooms' house where we would do something more creative and productive, like give melas park a lawnjob or light something on fire. Maybe it's that I derive very little pleasure from gambling or that I thinks cards are a primitive form of entertainment, but I officially label poker as out of fucking control.

Jimmy Johns: I can understand why people would enjoy eating McDonald's, White Castle, Subway etc, cuz I enjoy eating them at certain times. But let's be honest...Jimmy Johns sucks ass. The bread is shit and their bacon tasts like it was cured up my ass for 3 weeks. It's not even good when your slightly drunk, infact it's depressing as hell. But everyone has a huge boner for Jimmy Johns because 'it's cheap.' I can charge you ten cents to eat my own feces, but does that mean it's good...hell no! I'm asking everyone to boycott Jimmy John's, because it is officially out of fucking control.

Stupid people: I used to think that most people in this country were pretty stupid, but now it's a fact. The average IQ of Mississippi is 85....let me repeat myself: The average IQ of Mississippi is 85. That's an average which means there are a number of Mississippi residents that have IQs lower than 85. This country is literally retarded, no wonder we re-elected Bush. Stupidity is out of control.

Piston's fans: For the 98% of the country that has forgotten there is a National Basketball Association, supposedly a team called the Detroit Piston won the national championship last year. Obviously everyone around Detroit is freaking out about this team to repeat a championship. Whereas I do praise the Pistons for their ability to play as a team(because they are not a collection of thugs who never went to college like the Lakers) nobody's gonna care if they win again. I hardly knew they won last year and I would say I follow sports very closely. Out of control.

Lacrosse: I don't know if I spelled it right but who the hell cares. In fact who the hell cares about this stupid sport anyway. Honestly, I had only heard of it like once or twice before coming here to UM and I guess it's big in the east coast. For those of you who don't know about this sport: It's basically hockey(which sucks by itself) but insted of having the skill element of skating you run around a field with a net on a stick and try to put a tiny ball in a goal. To me it seems like a sport that someone would play only because they wanted to be unique or because they sucked at everything else. They choose to be lacrosse assholes because it seems cool. I guess I would have to give some of my respect to these people if I actually saw them playing a real game of lacrosse, but all I have seen are a bunch of people at Palmer field(and sometimes in the hallways at Markley) just playing catch with their little net on a stick. In fact I don't even think they can play the game. OUT OF CONTROL.

Jesus Land: For those of you unfamiliar with the term, Jesus Land is the states that voted Bush in the election. I have absolutely no problem with someone who is religious, in fact I think using a religious text and following it to structure your life is perfectly normal. It's not for me, but i can understand why many people are religious. But when the republican party send DVDs to evangelical christians about John Kerry's evil agenda to give gay people rights and to continue stem cell research, that's rediculous. This election was decided because the evangelicals and born agains in Ohio turned out in record numbers to vote more or less to take away peoples rights(Gay marriage/Bush's conservative religious agenda). I thought this country was a democracy founded on equal rights. People have the right to express their beliefs on gay marriage, but have absolutely no right to tell those who don't believe those things what to do. It's ignorant and obviously this country has taken a huge step backwards. People in other countries HATE the US and having such a conservative stance on issues like abortion and gay marriage would have you exhiled from politics in countries like CANADA. Out of control.

Rock over London, Rock on Chicago

I'm really bored right now and I'm blogging just for the sake of blogging. I have nothing to eat but cheese balls and grape faygo, and that's what I had for breakfast. I think I'll stare at the wall and think about stuff for a while.

"Me I'm waiting so patiently, lying on the floor...I'm just trying to do this jigsaw puzzle before it rains anymore"

Remember how you were always taught in school that stereo types were harmful, untrue, and slandering? Remember how your teacher's told you that stereotypes don't exist? Well for the most part I have discovered that is all BS. They are real and one needs no further proof other than the fact that stereotypes exist. If stereotypes weren't somewhat true, no one would have the preconception that all asian people are good at math, to use a popular stereotype. From my experience 4 out of 5 Asian students have exceptional mathematical skills. And is this stereotype slandering or harmful? I certainly don't think so. I guess what I am saying is that we should embrace stereotypes instead of trying to erase the term. Obviously if all stereotypes had no truth to them, the term would not exist. So Irish people need to learn to accept that they have a good chance of being alcoholic, French people have a good chance of having poor hygene, Jewish people have a very good chance of being wealthy, German people have a very good chance of being straitlaced and serious(I am German), Canadians have a very good chance of thinking that they are not part of the United States, Catholic people have a very good chance of aligning with Notre Dame, southern people have a very good chance of driving a pick up truck and listening to country music......etc. So stop whining about stereotypes and deal with them!

Thanks Bill, Badi Brad, Annie, and Kris. You're all in my cool book. Take it easy and I will see you all very soon. Don't worry Morgan, we are still awesome friends and I can't wait to see you again:)

What can I say but this week has been interesting. Filled with so many crazy emotional highs and lows, confusion and confidence, loveliness and loneliness. After old feelings were reignited I was excited about possibly starting a relationship with someone I've known and cherished for quite a while now. Anyway, I don't believe that our feelings or our decisions should be shared with everyone so I'll just say that once again I respect her feelings and her needs more than I want to chase my emotions and desires. It feels slightly familiar to about 6 months ago this time...kinda weird, eh? Anyway, the possibilites of starting something that previously only existed in my dreams was very exciting and I think I got too caught up in the emotions and thoughts to clear my mind and adjust to school here in Ann Arbor.

On that note, I'm not sure if the big school is for me. I've always had certain academic expectations for myself and they don't seem to be fulfilled up to this point. I'm also a bit upset about being one out of 250-300 people in my lecture classes. I hope I will feel better by mid-semester, but if I don't, I'm worried about how I'm gonna tell my parents. I also miss Chicago a lot. And by Chicago I don't mean the suburbs, I miss the big city and all that comes with it. Coming off the train at Union Station and walking out onto canal street this weekend put the biggest smile on my face and I wish sometimes that I went to school closer to the city, like my brother.

Also, seeing ignorant and stupid people do whatever they want and getting whatever they want without trying is makes me feel bad, it always has. I've worked hard my entire life, and I've had a great life, but it seems that undeserving people get things handed to them. I have confidence that in the end my hard work will pay off and I will be fulfilled. But that brings up the idea of fate...and I don't believe in fate. I don't think that people have their lives planned out, what would be the point of living then. People make decisions everyday that affect tommorrow and the rest of their lives. Fate just seems stupid to me and I hate thinking that I don't have control over my own life.

Anyway, my friends have told me to follow my heart lately and I'm trying my best to feel comfortable and ward off the lonliness I feel sometimes. Hopefully things will get better and time will cure my confused mind. I need to spend more times with my buddies here in Ann Arbor and make some more friends. After all, a smile relieves a heart that grieves.

"We all end in the ocean, we all start in the stream. We're all carried along by a river of dreams." -Billy Joel

I'm finally at school. UM is quite an amazing place, there is always something to do and always new people to meet. So far my new best friends are Nick and Harrison and I'm having a great time. I'm writing this right now because I feel slightly homesick. I love hanging out with people here but I wish I could see my few close friends from highschool soon. After finding out what a few of my friends have been doin in college, mostly with the alcohol, I feel like I've lost some respect for them but it's kindof hypocritical because I have been drinking a bit as well. I don't know why, but I feel very protective of my close friends and I think it would make me feel shitty to see them fall away from being the cool people they are. I commend you Bill, you are a better man than I am, and my respect for you has only grown. As for the others, control yourself and tell me to do the same. Anyway, I'm feeling a little homesick right now and tonight was sort of a dissapointment. A new enviornment is kind of confusing me and my emotions have recently been ignited again through conversation with friends. I just want to be able to sit back and have a peacefull easy feeling. "and I know you won't let me down, because I'm already standing on the ground." Rock over London, Rock on Chicago.

   So I leave for UM in just two days...which is awsome!  Today Steve and I went out to Gamestop and bought some really cheap computer games.  I got the latest Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles game, which is pretty good but slightly boring.  Anyway, he brought his laptop to my house and we put in the first season of Chappelles show and watched it for four hours while playing videogames basically the entire time.  People who say videogames are bad are full of shit.  It's a good form of escapism...it definately gave me a few hours of peace and happiness. 
   Cubs lost two in a row, which sucks, but so did SF so they still lead the wildcard race.  That's good.
   I am so sick of the olympics and I'm glad it is over.  I hate Bob Costas and I want to stab him in the face with a soldering iron everytime i see him on the TV.  And I'm also sick of hearing these sappy inspirational stories about athletes from Romania and all that garbage.
   I ran a PR today.  It wasn't hot out and I got some good tunes to accompany me and I was able to run 4.5 miles.  Astoundingly...I'm not that tired.  So any of you that have called me lazy within the last two months lemme ask you "when was the last time you ran 4.5 miles?"  Yeah...I'm talking to you Morgan!
   I've been working on my guitar skills.  I'm proud of myself because I learned how to play "Change the World" by Eric Clapton, which isn't a particularly diffucult song, but I can sing it while I play which is difficult for any song.  Maybe I'll be a folk singer...actually maybe not because I f**king hate folk singers.
   Speaking of singers.  The fact that The Dave Matthews Band is being sued for a million dollars has brightened up my last month.  I like some of Dave's music...but I don't think they are that good.  At least not good enough to have the following that he does.  A lot of people like his music just because everyone else does.  Now conforming is not always a bad thing...in fact, most of the time it is pretty good, but screw Dave Matthews.  Just the fact that he dumped 800 pounds of his and his crew's feces onto 100 people,some of which I'm sure were fans, I think is one of the funniest things I have ever heard.
   I'm excited because I am going out with steve Monday afternoon to take his little freshman sister to lunch. It will be one of two times I ever went back to Prospect High School this summer.  Anyway, we're gonna be rollin in his pimped out El Camino.
   So UM is one of the best places in the world...but I am sad to leave.  I have to say goodbye to one of my true loves:  the Italian Beef sandwhich.  I am gonna get a jumbo extra juicy beef with hot peppers at Portillo's tommorrow.  I know it won't be bad for a while, but since you can't get italian beefs anywhere but in chitown, I am going to miss the juicy and satisfying taste of italian beef.  Goodbye loyal friend...I will be with you once again.
   I will end by saying that I totally reaffirm what I said earlier:  "I am so grateful that I did not go to UofI."  There are like 47 prospect kids going there.  While it is nice to spend some time with your close high school friends...that's what high school was for and for the most part, i didn't like that shit.  See yall later.  Rock over London, Rock on Chicago.
   

I'm at the vernon hills library right now, just updating this thing. I really don't have much to say other than I just had some subway and it's not sitting too well with me. WTF. I just downloaded "Jesse's Girl" by Rick Springfield, what a hilarious song. The tilte of this entry has no meaning. Gabbo said it in the simpson's and I've always thought it was particularly funny. Anyway, rock over london, rock on chicago.